Malling Area Golf Society

2016/17 May 13th Round 2:
Weald of Kent Golf Club - The Mick Miller Trophy

Weald of Kent Golf Club
Maidstone Road
TN27 9PT

01622 891671

Coffee and bacon roll08:00
18 holes of golf, first tee09:16
Dinner and presentation15:00
Two course meal
Main & pudding.
Price£38 (£28 non-dining)

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Weald of Kent Golf Club

Order of Play

Group 1Ian Rowan, Roy Goodhew, Richard Coward.
Group 2Derek Reed, Graham Nunn, Harry Pendleton (B), Peter Barrett (B).
Group 3Tim Grimes (B), Keith Butcher (B)(G), Pete Tweddell, Mark Parsons.
Group 4Dave Swinbank (B), Ian Butler, Bryan England, Barry England.
Group 5Ray Farmer, Dave Catchpole, Steve Tothill (B), Dave Woodward (B)(G).
Group 6Steward Ryan, Paul Damper, John Burbridge, Dave Ealham.
Group 7Dave Smith, Dave Taylor, Dave Elsworth, Geoff Mills.
# = non-dining, (G) = guest, (B) = Buggy

Captain's Match Report

It was with unusual trepidation that I made my way to the Weald of Kent in the early morning sun, not remotely because of the inauspicious date of our latest meeting, but because this was my first official MAGS jaunt since the culling of my fondly held handicap of 28 which was brutally slashed by four strokes following the introduction of our exciting new handicap system. Despite having been a member for the best part of a decade and only occasionally venturing below 28 to the heady heights of 26 in the halcyon summer of 2012, I was overnight in a different league - quite literally as I was now a bona fide league two player. Confidently expecting the calls of “look at that useless hacker” to refer now only to my one fingered computer inabilities.

The trepidation I felt was hardly unfounded, since following the exciting night of the long knives as I fondly consider the celebration of the dénouement of my league two standing, I had the pleasure of watching a splendid golfing exhibition from Roy Goodhew. Unfortunately he had played so poorly (according to the computer statistics by which we are now governed) at Broome Park that he was gifted a much needed additional shot in order to spur his flagging morale such was his excitement. The second unfortunate part, was that the beautiful exhibition of golfing prowess which Roy kindly displayed for my delectation that particular morning was in our pairing for the summer matchplay competition. With my reduction by four and his addition of one I valiantly managed to drag the match into the back nine before he superbly beat me with eight holes to go! Well done Roy all joking aside it was a great round from you and the five shots change would have prolonged the inevitable but not by much in the end good persistent golf will show through.

So my well founded trepidation had plenty of time to swirl around my consciousness as following an early start in the clubhouse we were offered a delayed start at the tee. Just as the early summer chill gave way to a warming and drying spring zephyr, showing the course off in all its natural beauty and possibly heralding the warmth of things to come. The Weald can be a challenging course and errors of line and length were often to be followed by the unspoken goading of the siren voices of the tricky golf fairy, suggesting quite temptingly that an extra effort would be required to get the hole back on track. Do you take the challenges of the siren voices on? Do you try for the super skilled shot between the trees, the extra heft to lift you out the rough without losing vital distance or even the specialised club head the other way played backhanded when usual stance is precluded by inconveniently situated flora of some kind.

The Weald also has the charming challenge of omnipresent ditches, trenches, gullies call them what you will, suffice to say it has been suggested there are more challenging dykes at the Weald than the former offices of spare rib magazine.
The first hole sets you up for the dilemmas of the whole round, as you are immediately faced with a seemingly endless expanse of water, requiring, according to the softly whispering siren voices some additional effort to overcome its infinite watery depths. Knowing that my exemplary round at the previous MAGS meeting had subsequently been outshone by the return to earth with a bump, the lake held little fear for me as I had a suitably reduced expectation. Having boldly trapped off about a charity donation for anyone driving into the pond I watched as my partners for the day Richard Coward and Derek Reed confidently drove clear (Richard having paid too much attention to those voices gave it extra heft of the old Noddy Holders and landed in the far lake!). Thinking calmly of what good my donation might do I took my first swat of the sphere and to my joyous surprise it noodled up the fairway pulling up just short of the first ditch! The round proceeded in a similar vein to my happy relief. Despite the occasional drive which would surely have won any nearest the tee driving competition, the round was going rather swimmingly (until the last four holes when I only managed the singular point between them). Very satisfied I strode back to the clubhouse quietly confident Division Two glory would be mine, along with the nearest the pin on the short downhill par three on 13th which I nestled pretty closely to the elusive cup.

As the cards slowly came in, it became apparent the lots of us had our listening ears on for those voices and as one we had responded to their challenge manfully, some more successfully than others! Enjoying a cold one in the sunshine surrounded by friends on a peaceful sunny day (wasn’t it quiet out there! Hope you had a good time in Cyprus Dave) it really seemed to have been a generally well received and happy day all round. Having finished a fine meal, I had relinquished the nearest the pin on 13th to Barry England - the only pin card with more than one name on it! I was still just winning Division Two when I had a count up and realised we were short of four cards. Making my rounds of the tables Dave Catchpole remembered he had a few in the changing room and scuttled off to get them (well he has just celebrated his 50th so his memory may be on the turn).

So now for the results:- the winner overall on the day and also winner of Division One with 34 magnificent points Mr Roy Goodhew (glad the much needed additional stroke our exciting new statistical system provided restored that flagging morale) in fact Roy’s morale was in such bloom that he also beat the whole field to nearest the pin on 6th and would also have carried off the prize for nearest the pin on 16th had rules allowed. How much excitement can one handicap system provide one wonders? Winner of Division Two with 31 much checked and thoroughly deserved and well-earned points Mr Ray Farmer, seriously well done Ray. Topping Division Three on a challenging course for all the high handicappers Mr Dave Elham strode like course like a colossus narrowly missing overall prize with a towering 33 points.

Other than the aforementioned pin prizes won by Messer’s Goodhew (6 and 16) and England (13th) Mr Stewart Ryan was nearest in three on the par five 9th hole finishing with a brave and accurate nurdle over the water. No one managed the green on the 8th and with no other name on either pin card than Roy's two it was a cheap round for MAGS in terms of balls as prizes!

I would assume the average to be circa 24 to 25 so watch out for exciting news about the change to your handicap. It seems likely I will be cut again and could well be challenging for Division One by Villamoura! What fun. We only managed the two guests and as such no prize was awarded, luckily for most, one guests score of six will NOT drop the average score down and thus increase more handicaps but stand by for more exciting news from our handicap secretary Mr Tweddell who also played very well and narrowly missed being in the medals.

The moral of the story personally is probably don’t count your chickens before they are hatched or you’ve had Catch's card or possibly pride comes before a fall anyway I was suitably chastened by coming home with just a second and no pin prize still worst things have happened on Friday 13th especially to Knight Templars.

Our next merry meeting and last chance for restoration before the summer foreign tour is Friday 17th of June at Bearsted, stand by for the reminder from Mr Grimes.

Thank you again for your support and humour it’s always a lovely day even if occasionally our hobby turns against us. Try and bring a guest and get on the ring around to some fair-weather golfing friends for a round with good company a lovely day and not a little well natured banter (well if you’re out with me).

Pip pip
El Capitaine


Division 1Roy Goodhew34 points
Division 2Ray Farmer31 points
Division 3Dave Ealham33 points
OverallRoy Goodhew34 points
Best GuestDave Woodward20 points
Average Score25 points
Nearest the pin(Hole 6)Roy Goodhew
Nearest the pin(Hole 8)Not hit
Nearest the pin(Hole 13)Barry England
Nearest the pin(Hole 16)Roy Goodhew
Nearest the pin in 3(Hole 9)Stewart Ryan

Pos. Player Starting
Front 9 Back 9 Total Finishing
1 Roy Goodhew 11.6 1 15 19 34 8.9 1 12
2 Dave Ealham 27.1 3 21 12 33 24.7 3 10
3 Ray Farmer 20.0 2 16 15 31 18.2 1 8
4 Dave Catchpole 22.6 2 15 15 30 21.1 2 7
5 Paul Damper 13.2 1 16 14 30 11.7 1 6
6 Ian Rowan 24.0 2 16 13 29 22.8 2 5
7 Peter Tweddell 21.8 2 12 16 28 20.9 2 4
8 Tim Grimes 27.7 3 12 15 27 27.1 3 3
9 Dave Elsworth 25.2 3 13 14 27 24.6 3 2
10 Stewart Ryan 6.4 1 14 13 27 5.8 1 1
11 David Smith 22.1 2 9 17 26 21.8 2 0
12 David Taylor 25.6 3 10 16 26 25.3 3 0
13 Barry England 7.3 1 12 14 26 7.0 1 0
14 Richard Coward 18.2 1 13 13 26 17.9 1 0
15 Bryan England 20.0 2 8 17 25 20.0 2 0
16 Derek Reed 11.4 1 12 11 23 12.0 1 0
17 Steve Tothill 20.9 2 10 12 22 21.8 2 0
18 Ian Butler 28.0 3 11 11 22 28.0 3 0
19 Dave Swinbank 28.0 3 12 10 22 28.0 3 0
20 Graham Nunn 21.7 2 7 14 21 22.9 2 0
21 Peter Barrett 24.0 2 8 13 21 25.2 3 0
22 Geoff Mills 28.0 3 12 9 21 28.0 3 0
23 Mark Parsons 28.0 3 6 14 20 28.0 3 0
24 Harry Pendleton 26.4 3 10 9 19 28.0 3 0
25 John Burbridge 20.9 2 8 10 18 23.0 2 0
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