Malling Area Golf Society

Euro Tour 2018 - Spain, Marbella

Round One Round Two Round Three Round Four Overall Captain's Report

Round One - La Quinta B/C

Pos. Player Starting
H/C
Front 9 Back 9 Total Finishing
H/C
Putts
1 Simon Muir 17.4 16 13 29 15.4 40
2 Gary Kisby 16.7 18 11 29 15.7 37
3 Dean Priestman 9.9 14 13 27 9.9 41
4 Barry England 9.1 16 9 25 9.1 41
5 Peter Tweddell 16.4 16 9 25 16.4 42
6 Mark Moore 16.7 16 9 25 16.7 44
7 Chris Lewis 15.3 18 7 25 15.3 40
8 Paul Damper 13.5 11 11 22 13.5 44
9 Peter Self 15.5 13 8 21 15.5 44
10 Darren Parker 21.5 8 12 20 21.5 41
11 Kevin Warncken 22.0 9 11 20 22.0 44
12 Dave Verga 19.9 13 7 20 19.9 38
13 Mark Parsons 25.8 8 7 15 25.8 48
14 Bob Crouch 23.8 4 10 14 23.8 49
15 Ian Rowan 22.4 6 8 14 23.4 45
16 John Burbridge 24.2 11 3 14 26.2 44
17 Peter Gray (DNF) 28.4 3 4 7 28.4 52
18 Ede Aruede (DNF) 17.1 0 6 6 17.1 52

Lost Balls = 68


Round Two - Los Arqueros

Pos. Player Starting
H/C
Front 9 Back 9 Total Finishing
H/C
Putts
1 Peter Self 15.5 14 14 28 13.5 45
2 Paul Damper 13.5 15 10 25 12.5 38
3 Chris Lewis 15.3 16 9 25 15.3 40
4 Ian Rowan 23.4 11 13 24 23.4 42
5 Bob Crouch 23.8 12 12 24 23.8 40
6 Mark Moore 16.7 11 12 23 16.7 42
7 Barry England 9.1 12 11 23 9.1 41
8 Dean Priestman 9.9 13 9 22 9.9 42
9 Peter Tweddell 16.4 7 14 21 16.4 40
10 Darren Parker 21.5 11 10 21 21.5 37
11 Gary Kisby 15.7 13 8 21 15.7 43
12 Kevin Warncken 22.0 13 7 20 22.0 41
13 Simon Muir 15.4 14 6 20 15.4 43
14 Mark Parsons 25.8 9 7 16 25.8 45
15 Dave Verga 19.9 5 9 14 20.9 45
16 John Burbridge 26.2 8 6 14 28.0 43
17 Peter Gray (DNS) 28.4 0 0 0 28.4 DNS
18 Ede Aruede (DNS) 17.1 0 0 0 17.1 DNS

Lost Balls = 84


Round Three - Santa Maria

Pos. Player Starting
H/C
Front 9 Back 9 Total Finishing
H/C
Putts
1 Chris Lewis 15.3 18 15 33 13.3 29
2 Peter Tweddell 16.4 13 18 31 15.4 39
3 Mark Moore 16.7 15 16 31 16.7 41
4 John Burbridge 28.0 16 15 31 28.0 38
5 Simon Muir 15.4 14 16 30 15.4 37
6 Peter Self 13.5 15 15 30 13.5 44
7 Darren Parker 21.5 11 17 28 21.5 36
8 Gary Kisby 15.7 13 15 28 15.7 38
9 Dean Priestman 9.9 13 13 26 9.9 39
10 Barry England 9.1 14 12 26 9.1 42
11 Paul Damper 12.5 11 13 24 12.5 39
12 Dave Verga 20.9 13 11 24 20.9 40
13 Mark Parsons 25.8 9 11 20 25.8 47
14 Bob Crouch 23.8 10 10 20 23.8 43
15 Kevin Warncken 22.0 9 10 19 23.0 44
16 Ian Rowan 23.4 12 3 15 25.4 50
17 Peter Gray 28.4 0 0 0 28.4 DNS
18 Ede Aruede 17.1 0 0 0 17.1 DNS

Lost Balls = 62


Round Four - Santa Clara

Pos. Player Starting
H/C
Front 9 Back 9 Total Finishing
H/C
Putts
1 Barry England 9.1 10 19 29 7.1 42
2 Darren Parker 21.5 14 14 28 20.5 33
3 Paul Damper 12.5 15 13 28 12.5 38
4 Dave Verga 20.9 11 16 27 20.9 34
5 Mark Moore 16.7 13 14 27 16.7 40
6 Gary Kisby 15.7 14 13 27 15.7 43
7 Chris Lewis 13.3 11 15 26 13.3 36
8 John Burbridge 28.0 12 14 26 28.0 38
9 Simon Muir 15.4 13 12 25 15.4 44
10 Peter Tweddell 15.4 13 11 24 15.4 39
11 Dean Priestman 9.9 13 11 24 9.9 43
12 Bob Crouch 23.8 12 11 23 23.8 43
13 Ian Rowan 25.4 11 10 21 25.4 41
14 Kevin Warncken 23.0 7 12 19 23.0 42
15 Peter Self 13.5 7 11 18 14.5 43
16 Mark Parsons 25.8 11 5 16 28.0 45
17 Peter Gray 28.4 0 0 0 28.4 DNS
18 Ede Aruede 17.1 0 0 0 17.1 DNS

Lost Balls = 38


Overall - Stableford Points


Pos.

Player

R1

R2

R3

R4
Total
Points

LBP*
1 Chris Lewis 25 25 33 26 109 173
2 Mark Moore 25 23 31 27 106 180
3 Gary Kisby 29 21 28 27 105 122
4 Simon Muir 29 20 30 25 104 160
5 Barry England 25 23 26 29 103 150
6 Peter Tweddell 25 21 31 24 101 186
7 Dean Priestman 27 22 26 24 99 175
8 Paul Damper 22 25 24 28 99 168
9 Darren Parker 20 21 28 28 97 155
10 Peter Self 21 28 30 18 97 120
11 Dave Verga 20 14 24 27 85 192
12 John Burbridge 14 14 31 26 85 138
13 Bob Crouch 14 24 20 23 81 142
14 Kevin Warncken 20 20 19 19 78 135
15 Ian Rowan 14 24 15 21 74 143
16 Mark Parsons 15 16 20 16 67 148
17 Peter Gray (DNF) 7 DNS DNS DNS 7 139
18 Ede Aruede (DNF) 6 DNS DNS DNS 6 136

Total Lost Balls = 252
*Lost Ball Prediction. Winner - Dave Verga - 192


Overall - Putts


Pos.

Player

R1

R2

R3

R4
Total
Putts
1 Chris Lewis 40 40 29 36 145
2 Darren Parker 41 37 36 33 147
3 Dave Verga 38 45 40 34 157
4 Paul Damper 44 38 39 38 159
5 Peter Tweddell 42 40 39 39 160
6 Gary Kisby 37 43 38 43 161
7 John Burbridge 44 43 38 38 163
8 Simon Muir 40 43 37 44 164
9 Dean Priestman 41 42 39 43 165
10 Barry England 41 41 42 42 166
11 Mark Moore 44 42 41 40 167
12 Kevin Warncken 44 41 44 42 171
13 Bob Crouch 49 40 43 43 175
14 Peter Self 44 45 44 43 176
15 Ian Rowan 45 42 50 41 178
16 Mark Parsons 48 45 47 45 185
17 Ede Aruede (DNF) 52 DNS DNS DNS 52
18 Peter Gray (DNF) 52 DNS DNS DNS 52

Euro Tour 2018 Captain's Report

Fellow tourists what an interesting and enjoyable trip it seems like many moons ago we all arrived at the airport passports in hand a song in our hearts and England somewhere between four and six nil up depending when you arrived.

We all made it, we all caught the flight, I was sure we had turned the remedial corner and Pete and I would be the last holders of Tour dinlo honorary sash of shame.

What little I knew way back then…

On arrival after throwing the bags in the room we ran to the pub next door and commenced power drinking in the hope this was a suitable remedy for jet lag and our game would improve the following day. To the best of my knowledge at the time I was unaware of any impending doom or international subterfuge and identity theft. Almost all of us to a man I believe put those things we held most dear in value, inside the free electronic repository for precious things, almost all of us that is.

DAY 1 LA QUINTA GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB

Our first sojourn into the Spanish hinterland, weapons in hand, took us to La Quinta. Feeling quietly confident of a good round, knowing I had played before, not only golf but this particular course, I was soon disabused of any such illusion, either I hadn’t drunk enough to overcome the jet lag or I hadn’t flown enough to offset the gin, but I soon realised I was sure I had never played La Quinta before and was only partially sure which end of my bats to hold. Anyway it's only the first day.

Broadly speaking the course was nice, the weather scorchio and many people had a bash at that golf.

The best bashers that day were El Bandito muir (and they ask how I think them up!) slippery Kisby and Petrol Pump Priestman (soon to be re christened Jimi the cucumber Hendricks). Amusingly I delegated the lost ball comp traditionally held after the first round to PPP, who over excited with his new stature as senior guest, chose to take estimates before we faced the ravenous ravines of La Quinta.

How we laughed at silly old Saviour Dave when he plumped for such a stupidly high number.

Lost balls first round 68

Working on the insufficient Gin theory I was determined to imbibe sufficient elixir to chase the last vestiges of jet lag from my aching body. The four amigos set off for Port of The Moose and drank with gusto (think that was his name big old tache anyway)

DAY 2 LOS ARQUEROS

At last a more challenging course in which we could all try and replicate the shots we had been talking of incessantly the night before. I am sure we were last to bed unless anyone made it out past nine forty which I really doubt whatever big old storytellers you are.

What a bitch of a course.

I mean its stupid, why even bother.

Teeny tiny ribbons of fairways one turf wide balancing between ravines, rivers and Jurassic foliage. I would have managed better dropping bags of balls onto a trampoline on the first tee from a plane and just seeing where they ended up, at least that way some mystery may ensue rather than the inevitable fore and cuss.

Broadly speaking the course was nice, the weather scorchio and many people had a bash at that golf.

The best bashers that day were Don Self with a scorching 28 closely followed by Mr Moistness damper and Little Finger Lewis on 25 obviously the course suited drivers - train drivers. I was inordinately pleased to come fourth and this cemented the gin to points ratio theory I was developing reinforcing my plan to imbibe to my limit or possibly a third, even if it meant staying out past ten and waking the PPP I was that determined.

Lost ball count day 2 84 balls (this with Lord Lucan and Pepe Gray taking just one look and opting for the drive about option providing much needed support and advice to the stricken) cumulative after two days 152 - still not enough to stop thinking Saviour Dave was stupid but just feeling less likely to mention it.

That night we stayed local not wasting valuable Gintime on travel johnny MX5 and myself saw off all competition and were late to bed possibly even after ten!

DAY 3 SANTA MARIA

Not sure who Saint Mary was other than the founder of a boxing club in Chatham but she obviously took a few to the heid as this course whilst looking pretty benign also posed a few hidden challenges. Having played above my usual capability I was out with Mr Conga (not quite congu) Saddleworth moore and The Don self who all seemed to know what they were up to whereas I barely knew which way was up. The jetlag had crept back and I was soo tommy tired eyes I remember nothing of the course except wanting it to end.

Quietly

I carded a three on the back nine. I was ashamed. There was much talk on our return of there being late thirties possibly even a forty likely to come in and a sense of disappointment we didn’t all do better. I comforted myself with a two shot handicap boost for being stone last.

Broadly speaking the course was nice, the weather scorchio and many people had a bash at that golf.

The best bashers that day were little finger lewis with a 33 with Saddleworth, Congu and Big John Burbridge all coming home with 31 a great recovery from BJ who also carded the cripple triple on the back nine on day one.

Lost ball count day 3 62 cumulative total now 214 many people recognising what a great bloke Saviour Dave is and one who posses much foresight and spooky predictive powers.

Early night beckoned with every mouthful of restorative gin a challenge

DAY 4 SANTA CLARA

At last a collection of tees fairways and greens which looked like a golf course not an assemblage of sporting landscapes thrown down a ravine by a malevolent idiot intent on upsetting pale foreigners.

In honour of my woeful performance I was back in the group of death focussed only on avoiding the shield of shame which was hotly contected my Minty two scoops Parsons determined not to retain it.

After the first nine we returned on the back nine level at 11 points apiece (q respectable for G of D).

Long story short I hit a par on the long par five (all week my best club has been a concrete path) Mark slumped faced by the terrible realisation at least one corner of his garage could never be free of an overriding sense of misspent failure. Little did he know I had peaked and with his head down but his pekker up (whatever) we trudged over the finish line to end the day and tour on a weary high.

Broadly speaking the course was nice, the weather scorchio and many people had a bash at that golf.

The best bashers that day were Battingfor England with 29 with Lady Penelope Parker and Moistness himself snapping at his heels on 28

Lost balls a mere 38 giving a grand total of 252 way way above Dave’s prediction but still leaving him the worthy winner by a country mile.

The overall golf supremo after four days was Chris Lewis followed by Messers moore and kisby well done fellas.

Chris also won the putting competition good man him with a mere 145 or just over 2 a hole every time for 4 days

Dave won the lost ball count as was obvious from day 1 and kindly donated most of the money to the robin Hood thirsty boys club.

The yellow smiley ball day raised eighty euros on the day, Chris kindly passed on his putting winnings to make it 95 euros and Linda and I will round it up to one hundred and twenty five pounds to be given to the Royal Navy Benevolent Fund (sure there is a gag about old seamen but leave that to you).

Usually at this stage there would only be the England game to watch and a last repast and Horlicks before our journey home however this year had a final twist.

Before the dénouement of our tour I would just like to draw your attention to a couple of points.

Thank you all for being such good mates wonderful travelling companions and only occasionally serious golfers it makes my heart sing.

I would like to thank you all on behalf of The Current (Linda) for your very generous thank you I gather it was a pleasure.

Apart from the Monarch thing for which we have Dave to thank for stepping in and baling out (if that isn’t mixing metaphors) and also all of you for your patience and understanding.

Thanks again for Statto Tweddell for sorting out all of the cards, maths, running order, competitions website updates and all the stuff I was too mangled to handle and that pre supposes I could had I been able and I probably can't.

Well done mate and thanks from us all.

If there were any complaints they very sensibly didn’t make it to my ears. I do listen to the “feedback” often misconstrued as bitchin and here is my personal view on the tour.

Hotel - nice but away from the action and on the A27 so no I wouldn’t rush back purely on that basis.

Courses - mostly ok, well presented and at least I now appreciate when someone says it’s a tough course and I think how hard can it be! But in all honesty too tricky for the likes of me if they were all like Day 2 it wasn’t fun and the summer tour is mags at play frolicking in the sunshine after the hard yards of England in winter.

I have been given a few ideas for next year and I am working on shaking it up a bit just to keep it fresh watch this space!

Thank you all those with whom I had the privilege of sharing a round if not a buggy. I and indeed all of us shall have to manage without the sanguine charm of Chairman Gray in the future as he has announced his retirement from international events in the future after this year.

I know some of you were wondering if we will ever see a certain mr Eruede again as well and it is with some glee that I can report his repatriation.

All thoughts of reporting Rowan tours first MIA are banished and it was with a happy heart I hoisted the flags over Rowan towers back up to their fullest extent on the news he had returned home safely early to day (Sunday). Many thanks for those kind soles who donated to the wake, it was indeed an unusual sample bottle of cider and he would indeed have been proud. Ditto those who submitted designs for the tomb of the unknown golfer we shall never know now if Tovil would have accepted the cadaver as recycling.

There was some confusion over Ede's nationality and I think once away from his weeping grief stricken friends whose fake smiles and in some cases raucous laughter fooled no one he pulled the diplomatic card straight away and they put him right at the front of the inflatable and he didn’t really have to row until it was light. It had been suggested by a few players that the whole trip was merely a cover and once that was blown you may have noted he didn’t even keep up the pretence of lashing at the ball anymore. What was in the golf bag, what was his mission, what are the secrets of the black magic box? We may never know all I do know is if our post brexit future is in the hands of skilled counter intelligence golfers like EDE I know we can all sleep safely in our twisted hammocks this summer.

Fairwell and flat wide fairways to you all until next meeting.

PIP PIP

Roddy x

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